Have you ever had a moment where you’ve looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize the person staring back at you? It’s in those moments that an internal shift begins. You can continue as this unrecognizable person, or you can make a choice to find yourself again. It’s not an easy decision to make, let me tell you. A few months ago that was me.
It seemed my life was spinning, and I was struggling to regain control. I was discouraged and disappointed in myself for various reasons. I noticed that I was attracting energy and people that reflected what I was putting out into the world. I blamed others for their actions, when, in reality I was allowing people to treat me according to how I felt about myself. I put more time into thinking about what other people thought about me rather than focusing on how I felt about myself. Now, at the time, I would have never believed any of this. But you know what they say: Hindsight is 20/20.
That moment I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I was seeing was the moment I decided to take a stance. Enough was enough. But sometimes you have to hit the bottom before you can start climbing towards the top. I begin to take responsibility for my life and my actions. No more blaming others for their actions towards me, no more misplaced frustrations, no more blaming the world. This negativity was attracting negative people (whose lives were in as much upheaval as my own), causing me to engage in negative actions, placing doubt on my self-esteem and self-worth, trying to hold on to unreciprical relationships (all encompassing)…all so I did not have to think about or focus on what was really going on. I mean, who wants to really do that? I had to realize my place and responsibility in the spinning tornado that was my life. It was time to take control.
I am finding myself in a new place of happiness. It wasn’t an easy place to get to. Within this, I have noticed that my postitive energy is attracting positive things. I am meeting great people, establishing new, healthy relationships (all encompassing), and not allowing the negativity of the world to have a place in my life. I’m taking more control of my thoughts. I’m not giving time to the over analyzation of ill actions or things that I have no control over. I’m appreciating my time and using it towards positive thinking. I’m reading books to help shape my thought. I’m not putting time into relationships that are not recipricol, but I’m also not holding a grudge. I am learning I cannot control other people’s actions, but I can control my reactions. I am confident in myself and my abilities. I’m finding new hobbies and ways to use my time. I appreciate the moments I have alone to myself. I smile at the small things and stay in a space of gratitude.
No, my life is in no way perfect. It’s a daily effort to be positive, but it feels SO much better.
Life is beautiful, and I love what I’m seeing in the mirror. 🙂